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Researcher Uses Significance Level of 0.60, Shocks Scientific Community

Researcher Uses Significance Level of 0.60, Shocks Scientific Community


    Madison F. Wilson, tenured researcher at the Smith Institute of Neuropharmacology and Ph.D in Statistics, is making waves in the scientific community. After completing her latest study on Caenorhabditis elegans feeding behavior, Wilson used a 0.60 level of significance instead of the 0.05 generally accepted by scientists. By doing so,...

How (Not) To Complete a Chemistry Lab

How (Not) To Complete a Chemistry Lab


Disclaimer: DO NOT FOLLOW THIS PROCEDURE. THIS IS ONLY MEANT TO BE A SATIRE ARTICLE, AND BY NO MEANS SHOULD ANYONE TRY THIS. IT IS DANGEROUS.   Today is the day you will conduct your first calorimetry lab! Calorimetry is the measurement of the heat of chemical reactions and heat capacity. How fun! This guide will explain exactly how you ...

Vestibular System Not Evolved Balance Academics, Social Life, and Sleep

Vestibular System Not Evolved Balance Academics, Social Life, and Sleep


    According to a recent paper, scientists have discovered that the human vestibular system has not adapted to balance academics, social life, and sleep. After reading last year’s revolutionary study which revealed that the vestibular system does NOT balance one’s checkbook, the research team responsible embarked on a quest t...

New Research Paper Uses Simple “Hands-On” Language

New Research Paper Uses Simple “Hands-On” Language


    The paper, “A New Protein-Thingy in the Pink Squishy Stuff Inside Your Head”, offers a user-friendly version of a recent university research paper. The neuroscience paper does not include the words “brain,” “neuron,” “cell,” “human,” or “body.”     Fo...

A Teacher’s Standardized Testing Guide: How to Ruin Curiosity in 3 Easy Steps

A Teacher’s Standardized Testing Guide: How to Ruin Curiosity in 3 Easy Steps


As eager students return to their classrooms this September, it seems apt to provide a refresher course in effective, scientifically proven methods how to inspire students to ace needless exams and quell any and all curiosity they may possess. In a realm of what radical educators consider “modern education”, the field has seen many tran...

Local Student Mishears Neuroanatomy Professor for Entire Semester, Believes he is Discussing “Areas of the Brian”

Local Student Mishears Neuroanatomy Professor for Entire Semester, Believes he is Discussing “Areas of the Brian”


    Today we turn to an unforeseen tragedy that has recently transpired in this locality.  Fred Smith, local student attending university, has reportedly misheard his professor for the entire first semester of his “Principles of Neuroanatomy” course.  Sources confirm that the student believed, for all 18 weeks of the...

News Reports Misinterpret Yet Another Neuroscience  Study

News Reports Misinterpret Yet Another Neuroscience Study


    A new neuroscience study entitled “A Novel Protein Target for Aging-Associated Neuronal Degeneration” led to a flurry of reports in the news.  These reports had such titles as “Are Proteins Involved in Neuronal Degeneration? IDK, I didn’t read the study,” “Can Books in Department Stores Revolut...